Entry: Marching To The Month Of March Mar 4, 2007

I am tired. I am confused. I am numbed. That is the mood bringing to the phenomenal month of March. On the last day of February, it is the umpteenth times meeting for restructure. Every meeting is the same. Wants a company restructure every time. Every times seem not meet the expectation. Again have another meeting and restructure. But then again not reach expectation. And again a meeting, a restructure and the same routine again each in few months.


I already mentally and physically tired. After Chinese New Year, company wants a new resolution, a restructure. Fine, follow what the company wants. My desires with the new task immerge. When every finally settle down in a few months. Around the last quarter of the year, another pre-appraisal. The same old story. Company sees no improvement, need our idea and more improvement after we follow the new instruction in the new year. But our improvements still not enough.


In the year-end, appraisal given and same old story. Every time I followed the new instruction but the next meeting will still say our services stagnant. I am tired listening to the same routines that need us to do this and that. I am confused that I followed the instruction is not what they want in the meeting. I do not know to follow or not to follow.


Then another year came. Same thing after the Chinese New Year. Company wants a new resolution. Then followed again. And again not what they wanted. Oh my. What they want now. Excuses given and excuses not accepted in a one-way traffic only. Goodness me. What am I supposed to do?


Now in my third year. People come and go. People promote and people relegate. It is also my problem. What theÖ!!! We are professional, we do our job separated our job and personal. They can also link both up. Boss and colleague are always boss and colleague. Family and friends are always relative and friends. We cannot meet our friends after working? Boss, we call boss but not brother or friends. But sometimes I do need to call my boss a friend or brother? Thatís also blamed me to the world. Would everyone understand me? We are professional. Only my God will know.


Why canít I live like others? In the morning concentrate at work. After work, hang out with friends or go to the gym but not think what to do the next day or to think an unlimited new idea. I can go to the cinema often, register myself to the gym to build an image but not look like an old hag tinkering or going out with girls. During the weekend, fresh going home and affordable brings the whole family out to family day every week the untouchable style.


All I wants is to work and afford to have a healthy life style at night and during the weekend enjoy to know what paradise is. Not looking like a humble, a listener and an unaffordable old hag. Then slowly building my ultimate dream. The phenomenal Pieces please bless me marching to the month of March.



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